*Read previous posts to follow the journey and see how things connect…
When will I listen? Never or never say never? In the early 2000’s, another friend (also into all this spiritual “stuff”) told me about Dante, a well renowned psychic tarot card reader. He lived in Chelsea and you had the option of bringing a friend to take notes for you or take notes yourself but no recording… ugh. I am pretty good at multitasking, but this was going to be a challenge because I didn’t know shorthand (still don’t) and I wanted to capture every word! She said before he begins, he makes you hold the cards in your hands so they can absorb your “energy” and then you shuffle the cards (another obstacle, I never learned how to shuffle, not cards anyway 💃🏻) and then he lays them out in some specific order and tells you about whatever it is that the cards reflect of your past, present and future. Mesmerized by this, I needed to meet him ASAP (when I get something in my head, I want immediate results – way better at this now, I think).
Of course, I didn’t hesitate and booked a session right away. I decided to take my own notes because I had no idea what he would say or what I wanted anyone to know and I wasn’t in a place of “sharing” anything major with anyone who may have been available to come with me at the time. I mean I was a pretty good person but who knows what I did or said in the past that may have affected anyone’s life? Nobody’s perfect, we all make mistakes and I wanted to hear mine one on one. Would he bring up my drunken nights of kissing strangers? (sorry dad) The time I slid down the steps at the popular Lotus club so elegantly at 2am and turned it into a planned dance move? (I’ve got skillzzz). The new person I was dating? My career challenges? The horrible yet hysterical dates I had been on and worse more in my future (aka “dating challenges”)? Did I miss “the one”? The possibilities were endless. What did I want to know? EVERYTHING!!!
One evening I went to his quaint walk up apartment (what’s up with all these steps and no elevators for these gifted ones? Do they have magic wings and fly up to their homes? Out of breath by the 4th flight – maybe he was going to tell me I needed to work out more?). His home was adorned with religious statues, figurines and candles that were lit and omitting the scent of woodsy incense…NOT patchouli thank g-d. We sat for a moment and he went through the spiel of how he channels things and a lot of it is subjective and most things transpire within 3-6 months and he doesn’t recommend another reading for at least 9 months because things need time to marinate. Yada yada yada let’s get into it!
I was a little nervous and intrigued once again and looking back I guess I wanted validation for specific decisions, direction on current ones and protection from future ones (I still make dumb ass mistakes even when I’m being warned about future ones, I’m human 🤷🏻♀️). I think I’m somewhat of a functioning imperfect perfectionist.
So, we begin. I close my eyes, I hold the cards close to my heart (instinct) and I think to myself “please bring me what I need at this time and without any negativity and from a higher good” (I didn’t want to know anything BAD but would like to be prepared should something come up. Ignorance is sometimes bliss ☺️).
He proceeded to lay out the tarot cards in an interesting pattern and made sounds like “hmmm, ahh” and then also added “that’s interesting” from time to time. Of course, I was staring at the cards (which I didn’t understand as there were pictures of jesters, kings holding swords, queens with cups, and numbers, etc.) and then I looked back at him. Dante was very endearing, he mentioned earlier his mother and grandmother were both psychic tarot card mediums, so this was a natural gift to him, so I just let it be and trusted the process. I felt more at ease knowing at least it was somewhat hereditary.
He gave me little trivia types of things like “you may get a new pair of glasses or new pair of shoes on sale when you go shopping.” He said things will come up here and there, but they may oddly seem unimportant but would help validate other things that he would later tell me. So, maybe if these things happened after our session, the grander things would also come true. He also used astrology in the sense of timing. Even though he may refer that something could happen in May, WE control our own time, but a window of time can be predicted. However, who knows which May, 2002, 2003?
Dante said many things about life (yes, I did get a pair of shoes on sale not too long after, but I didn’t really hold on to that piece as groundbreaking evidence as shopping was kind of normal). He touched on some family stuff and career (great) and then he got into all these cards about my soul mate and dating life (dear g-d this seems to be a constant theme in these posts🙄). “There he is, there he is again.” I wanted to know more so I asked him to elaborate. I mean am I still looking at the letters of my name all jumbled? Do I need a prescription for eyeglasses because everyone sees him but me! Apparently, the answer is YES (not to the glasses, although I do have them now lol). He said I needed to open up more to men who were not my typical “type”. Umm… ok so what does that mean? Light haired instead of dark haired, out of shape and sloppy? Super short instead of tall? (I know I am vertically challenged but I like what I like). I HEARD him but definitely didn’t listen because I was meeting someone after who WAS my “type” and very happy about it! I clearly have selective hearing but don’t we all to some degree? 😂
One thing that was another ongoing theme was he said I was “connected” to a higher source and I was very intuitive, but I needed to trust my gut more. Oye that gut again… too bad back then celery juice cleanses weren’t popular because I was in need of a gut cleanse so I could start fresh according to everyone in the spiritual world.
After a brief summary of my “love life” or lack thereof, he touched on my family and said my father was going to have a procedure, but not to worry, he will be fine, and I needed to stay calm and present. Ha, CALM!? “Procedure” is a pretty big word and you can’t just casually say that to me (that’s where my Jewish side kicks in and I think the worst). I needed to know more (I know I didn’t want any negative, but like I stated earlier, I’d like to think being prepared is a positive). He asked if my father had any trouble with his heart and of course I said no because NO he didn’t, and I guess he sensed some panic in my voice and saw shock in my eyes and veered more towards other things coming up (yes to all of the above).
So, I left Dante’s with seven pages (yes 7 ironically) of loose-leaf paper (front and back) filled with notes and arrows, etc. and went on my date. My mind was somewhere else thinking about things he said and timing etc. I was thinking about where to get a deck of spirit cards because he mentioned in my reading if I liked a specific deck of cards, I could shuffle them each day, ask a question, pick a card and see what the card said (almost like my own personal horoscope but chosen by me and my subconscious).
In the next few days I read the notes over and over, and things that didn’t connect thoroughly at the time of the reading were starting to make sense. Like the offer I had to switch company’s for a better position, a random blast from the past that would reappear (now a constant in my life) and the random set up that would forever haunt me (saving that for another post and yes, I will stick with the dating theme because it’s a large part of my journey so buckle up buttercup 🤪).
Over time, I continued with tarot cards, mediums, books, advice, validation and hope from connected spiritual guides in hopes of finding out about my future while still having the most exciting time in NY (seems silly looking back but there is a point being made somewhere on this journey. I am a true libra, I like balance;)). When was the white picket fence in the burbs with the perfect husband going to show up? The kids running around? Maybe that’s what I was searching for? Was that the answer I wanted? At the time I asked myself “Can you have it all?”. Little did I know that “all” meant different things to different people.
So often we want what we want that we go on a focused mission to obtain it. Nobody and nothing will stand in our way, like a bull in a china shop we have zero peripheral vision. We are determined and convince ourselves that if we make “THIS” happen or we get “THAT” life will be perfect. Then things happen and we get what we want and move on to the next thing because we got so caught up on the mission to obtain it only to realize later we never really knew why we wanted it or forgot why completely. So, once we obtain/attain (thing, person, job, goal etc.) we ask ourselves surprisingly “this is what I wanted so badly?”. I think I’m making sense…be careful what you wish for comes to mind ;).
Thus, the continuous search for more mistakes. No, just kidding (actually I’m not). I have made plenty, but I like to think of them as great stories which I will share in time. Anyhow, I went on my merry way after Dante’s visit, lived my life and kind of forgot about him UNTIL…
About a month later I had just started a new job at a new company and got a very odd call from my mother within the first few days of being there. She was abnormally calm and speaking with almost like an “on-camera” accent. Anyone who has met my mom, knows she has a beautiful accent and she speaks with excitement or some type of feeling. This was WEIRD and I guess my initial response was “what’s wrong?”. She said, “I don’t want you to be alarmed but your father is at the hospital and I’m on my way now to see him.” I asked calmly (very out of character for me in a time of crisis) “what happened?” even though I intuitively knew it was his heart and thought of Dante immediately and remembered him saying “HE WILL BE FINE”. I kept that with me until I too rushed to the hospital. He did in fact have a heart attack but luckily had stints put in etc. and was in the best hands and happy to say he is alive and healthy today. (Thank you, Dante, for keeping me sane). I also dated someone so NOT my type (big mistake) but Dante did say he wasn’t my forever person (right again OMFG…l
Again, more validation that there is something to this higher power and intuition and I now wanted to be in the inner circle so I could “tune-in”. So, I got tarot cards, obviously I missed the note when he said “spirit” cards and was going to learn how to use them. (I told you taking notes and listening isn’t that easy 🙄). I soon stopped learning and opted for “spirit” cards because tarot cards are intense and time consuming. I had shit to do and a life to live and this was supposed to be more of a hobby for when I felt the need of some quick guidance. Since it wasn’t my profession, I felt ok trying something a bit more approachable.
We are always seeking validation and answers as a society to many things and we are brought up to think life is supposed to go a certain way (at least my generation was). We think we have figured things out and once we do, we just have more questions. Like little kids we want to know “why” all the time. There is no black and white to life because if you think you’ve figured it out, I dare you to stop evolving and challenging yourself. If you do, you will be the walking dead (also a great tv show but unrelated). There is some color in the gray so don’t rush it.
If you feel the need to seek out some guidance from a higher source, I say do it! If anything, it may put your mind at ease about one thing or make you rethink another. Find things that work for YOU! I still love the crystals and the spirit cards (I have about 6 different decks now and take them out whenever I feel the need to pull a card). I have ALWAYS been an empathetic and curious person and I wouldn’t change that at all because it allows me to be open to life. I learn new things all the time. Lessons about life? only recently lol.
Being spiritual is a choice and I believe it can be a connection to anything that keeps you grounded. Religious or not, a practice, a hobby, whatever it is, find something to do for your own peace of mind. Trust me, it’s on going and I still haven’t figured it all out, but I have definitely taken the road less travelled and its wonderful!
Pro (advanced beginner) Tips:
· Seeking a psychic tarot card reader is definitely helpful if you are open (I actually have an appointment with Dante later this month. WHAT!? It’s research 😉).
· Getting a deck of spirit cards are always fun and innocent and easy ones to use are by Doreen Virtrue (google there are a bunch and choose what you find you are drawn to).
· Time is in YOUR control not that of the psychic or medium. Do NOT live by their predictions, use them as a loose guide if you want but don’t stick to every single word (it’s not a hallmark movie) because its REAL life and shit happens, and you get diverted. Life isn’t about what happens to you it’s about how you react to it and of course you need to be proactive as well.
·Cassandra also told me recently to get a pack of regular playing cards, shuffle them up and just flip them while calling out a color as its good practice on how to trust your gut. Kind of like a multiple-choice question, you don’t have time to change it and usually your first guess is right so practice even with your intuition, it’s a pretty important muscle to exercise.
Xoxo Vanessa
h0lyshift 