I’m jumping to the present for a bit because I had a pretty cool experience recently and I wanted to share it after being a bit MIA. I walked on hot coals and needed to cool off. Kidding I survived the Oprah moment, I was just living life and time went by – as they say, time flies when you’re having fun 😃.
I recently was fortunate enough to be invited to attend a Tony Robbins 4-day seminar in California called “Unleash the Power Within” or as the fans/supporters call it “UPW”. A privilege and perk of working where I do, and I am forever grateful for the opportunity. I have always been into motivational speakers, you tube videos of guru’s or spiritual leaders, Ted Talks, podcasts (most recently) and the like as I feel like you can always learn something about yourself or others and if not, you can easily move on to the next thing if you don’t feel a connection to something. I always wondered about this Tony Robbins guy over the years. This 6’7 giant man who cursed, called things out as he saw them and most importantly called people out randomly, put them on the spot and got to the bottom of their shit right then and there, with no time for them to run. He def seemed to speak my language!
I followed him on and off over the years, but it wasn’t until recently, maybe the past 5 years or so, that what he said really resonated with me and I started to “get it”. Little by little it all started to make sense and I found myself making less mistakes (of course still making them). I mean who doesn’t make mistakes? But I was learning from them and bouncing back quicker (from some) and wanting to figure out the “why” of others. Time with Tony ain’t cheap so when an opportunity came up for me to attend UPW, I jumped on it and said “YES” (I didn’t realize I would be saying “YES” over and over for 4 consecutive days upon arrival though, lol). Luckily, I was able to attend his seminar a few weeks ago and well…. let’s just say I came back a round peg in a round hole… I did lose a few pounds from all the jumping so I am not so physically round 👙 (positive).
I arrived on a Wednesday evening to a giant convention center, literally, a GIANT one that holds THOUSANDS and I saw THOUSANDS of people in identical t-shirts and I heard them all screaming “YES” “WELCOME “YES” “WELCOME” accompanied by a bazillion high fives, kind of like the ones you do after you play a game in grade school and you pass the other team in opposing directions at the end of a win with a “good game, good game” on repeat until the last team member? The difference was there were no lines, they were EVERYWHERE, hands UP. I literally thought to myself “what the hell did I get myself into!?” So I kind of reluctantly put one hand up, gave the high fives in passing, perma smiled in a state of shock and fear, got my wristband and credentials, my bag of goodies (workbook, stickers, schedule, reading materials) and proceeded to leave with my hand tingling like needles were sticking in it. I totally figured out in that moment why Tony claps with the palms of his hands… he’s a genius I thought, and I hadn’t even started yet.
I got to the hotel and tried not to talk myself out of it. Spoke to my best friend who was joining me on this experience before going to bed, got a good night’s sleep and was ready to “Unleash the Power Within”.
OLD ME:
I woke up, took a deep breath and smiled, kind of chuckling to myself wishing I had some kind of camera following me because I was sure I was going to have some sort of comical experience.
I arrived super early to get a good seat (8am) and it was already packed, the lines were insane and so much security but luckily, I had some kind of VIP pass (thank you work friend), so I was able to get in easily and get a pretty good seat in the front section of my “diamond” section. There were people EVERYWHERE screaming, dancing, clapping, music was pumping! Dancers were on stage doing some type of Jane Fonda work out on level 1 and the lights were total 97’ Ibiza summer type club scene with disco ball lights and I was just in awe taking it all in. It was now 8:30am and I was thinking ummm yeah, I don’t think so, this is like bad cruise ship crap and I’m NOT doing it.
It seemed kind of cultish or was that just my own fear/judgement or both?
NEW ME:
I wasn’t sure yet because neither crossed my mind at the moment, I was too guarded to even think about it, I was too in my head BUT I was quickly realizing this was why I wanted to come here, to learn to get OUT of my head and I was also remembering all the podcasts I listened to where Tony was referred to by so many CEO’s and successful people saying “you MUST give UPW your all and do it fully” so I relaxed and little by little I let go. My last words before I let my guard down to myself were “c’mon, you promised yourself you wouldn’t judge and you would surrender and go all in”. so I mentally put up the white flag and let it fly in the wind.
After about literally 3 hours, no joke, 3 fucking hours of bad club music and strobe lights with aerobic dance, FINALLY, Tony Robins came out on stage and the crowd went WILD. I thought they were wild before, but by now delirium had set in, including my own. I was ready, I danced a lot, I moved around, I wanted some WORDS OF WISDOM at this point, I wanted to know what all the hubbub was about… and why some people had come from all over the world for the 2nd, 3rd and even 4th time.
The base was thumping through my chest literally, he’s on stage with his two giant wood chucks banging them together and smiling with an energy that’s contagious!
After a bit, the club lights dim and the real ones go on, the music subsides, the crowd sits down and here we go!!! Notepad and workbook in hand, pen ready, water bottle on floor, and full on layered winter clothes because I heard he likes the room at a brisk 60 degrees. I was ready. Let’s do this!
This man is a machine, he’s captivating, insightful, funny, truthful, a definite salesman (it takes one to know one) and a phenomenal story teller. I don’t know how one can’t be drawn in even if you don’t connect with what he’s saying which unless you are seriously detached from all senses and emotion it’s impossible not to tap into even ONE thing.
In any event, by hour two of Tony on stage, I took a sip of the Kool Aid and by hour three I asked for the pitcher. I was dancing so much, my hands were in the air and I was screaming out “I own you” “I” “Yes” “I Fucking Rock” and singing to the songs playing at the perfect times which were all songs we know but somewhat relevant to getting you pumped up like: “Get Ready 4 This” by 2 Unlimited, “Sandstorm” by Darude, “Life” by Haddaway, “Top Gun Anthem” by Harold Faltermeyer and Steve Stevens, “Chariots of Fire” by Vangelis,“Destination Calabria” by Alex Gaudino, “Get Up Offa That Thing” by James Brown, “Titanium” by David Guetta feat Sia,“Holiday” by Green Day, “Raise Your Glass” by Pink, “Hey Ya!” by Outkast and “Thunder” by ACDC to name a few (you get the point). Songs you would never really hear at a club these days (I don’t think lol). Soon I was literally on the chair dancing and couldn’t give a shit who or what anyone was thinking or doing because we were all in this together and let me tell you there were lots of high profile people there and many I knew personally that I didn’t know would be there and vice versa so being vulnerable was non-negotiable and for me that was the hurdle I had to get over and I got over it VERY QUICKLY.
So, I will just highlight some things that were emphasized throughout the seminar and a thing or two I took away (can’t share all because it’s just too hard to describe. You had to be there 🤷🏻♀️.)
What the program is really about is not changing yourself, but rather about BECOMING yourself. The more you know about who you are, what you love, what you hate, what excites you, and what drives you, the easier it will be for you to achieve what you want and to be FULFILLED. Remember that… “FULFILLED”, that is not the same thing as acquiring things and people and such, that is about feeling full on the INSIDE… don’t get it twisted 🥴.
It’s pretty interesting that FEAR can destroy our psychology and immobilize us from taking action. All of us experience fear to some degree. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of love (or fear of losing love), fear of being alone, or fear of the unknown.
In fact, most of us feel a combination of these fears over the course of our lives. So fun isn’t it? #NOT🤬 I for one am so tired of being afraid and would love to go back in time and face the smaller fears that were so dumb but I wouldn’t be my fabulous self had I not learned those lovely lessons ✔️. So NOW, I like to face fear and I choose to take the lead more often than not. I used to be a control freak so now I put that to good use by transferring that to controlling my fear and dancing with it instead hahaha…. see what I did there?
The secret is learning how to use fear instead of letting fear use you! (Tony Robbins).
I can relate to this because I am sure I have a plethora of scenarios I can list where I have self-sabotaged situations because of fear. C’mon you have too…. BE HONEST’!!! If it’s not perfect, why bother? Or I can’t because of xyz. I mean when we were babies taking our first steps, did our parent say “STOP, you can’t even take more than a step you wobbly baby, just sit down and QUIT! Why even bother?” lol… NO, they cheered us on for trying and we did it again and again until we walked and eventually ran.
Apply that to your everyday life when you have that voice that wants to talk you out of taking a chance or even trying something new. Practice and once you learn whatever it is, keep practicing it until you master it and once you master it, practice every once in a while, to maintain it! Athletes don’t chill on their off season, they sill train and keep the momentum going!
Throughout the day, Tony would kindly remind us every so often that we were going to have to walk over VERY VERY hot coals bare foot that night, to prove how powerful the mind is and how important what we tell ourselves is. This was lurking in the back of my mind all day as images of flames would be shown on the screen on and off throughout the day. Simultaneously, images of my legs on fire would be flashing in my mind. Would I be the 1% over the past 20 years that gets “very badly burned” (if you saw Austin Powers, the voice of Will Ferrell aka “Mustafa” seemed to come to mind). It sounded scarier as the day went on because the preparation was so intense, I mean REALLY INTENSE and reminded me of the ONE time I went scuba diving but panicked because the directions were overwhelming (don’t breathe too fast or too slow, you may get BENDS and die). This was more like “get your power stance on” (by the end of the day you had a power stance and trust me fifteen hours later you were ready to take over the world and walk into your future with power and crazy confidence/assurance, then “shake that ass” (yup, when you want to get into a positive mindset, change your physiology and shake your booty), “don’t walk fast, don’t walk slow, don’t look down, don’t look ahead, don’t march, make sure you say your mantra”,“cool moss, cool moss, cool moss, cool moss” on repeat (mind over matter, for example; say you need to take a horrible tasting medicine, you say to yourself “its grape juice, it’s grape juice”on repeat, or if you work for Miranda Priestly, you may say to yourself “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job”… etc.).
It’s now the end of the day, so, it’s time… and we are all asked to take off our shoes and socks, roll up our pants and go outside and get in lines. (Mind you there are about 45 lanes of HOT coals that have been burning for HOURS). I hear African drum sounds so loud and paced evenly like a perfected rhythm that matches my heart beat and I swear it sounds like someone or something is being sacrificed in the distance because you hear everyone (all 15,000 of us) chanting “YES “YES” “YES”…) while clapping (me with my palms, I am a quick study). I hear happy screams of accomplishment in the distance (no burn victims yet – good sign), the lines are moving like speeds of light, however, there is no light except the red glow of those blazing hot coals getting closer and closer and you are NOT allowed to use your camera flash as to not throw someone off so of course I quickly look around to make sure there is no asshole who will fuck up my “fire walk”. I have no anxiety, I am pumped up like some freak, jumping up (I swear I mastered my jump, I didn’t realize how high off the ground I can jump, who knew!? Can I do anything with this new-found skill?). It’s like this weird “fuck yeah” feeling and I’m ready to leap into my new and improved self! All of a sudden it’s my turn and in like a millisecond I am on the other side and my feet are doused with a hose and soaking wet. My hands are up and I’m in my power stance again and I’m screaming “YEAH”. I swear I remember nothing else except the first step I took with my right foot which I must say was hot as fuck and then everything went black…it was done. The mind is a powerful tool, it can fuck you up or set you up…. You choose!
Day 1 over… amazing, exhausted, happy, new friends, refreshed, and ready for the rest of the program.
Fifteen hours a day he’s on that stage, he doesn’t pee, he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t stop talking, he keeps clapping, he sings, he yells, he empowers you and he makes you THINK CLEARLY and SMARTLY!!!
It’s not like what Tony says is earth shattering to me personally. I’ve heard it all before to be honest, but for me it is HOW he says it and with the evidence to support it. I like to have action with results, so his bluntness and directness speaks to me. I DETEST bullshit and I see it clearly at the beginning of situations, relationships (I try to convince myself its ok and it’s not a big deal) even though I SHOULD run in the opposite direction but I like to see the good in people. However, when I see the bad I want people to own their shit! So when they don’t, I kind of wait for them to and I just get more frustrated because they usually don’t because most people are cowards…so this kind of taught me to dump them at red flag numero uno and stop wasting time. It’s not like I had an exorcist moment and my head spun around and everything clicked, it’s more like my head was slightly turned to the left and now its facing forward. I had a “h0lyshift” moment ✨. I’m “shook” I’m “woke” 🙄. I literally LET GO fully of what no longer serves me, I really did- got rid of the left overs if you will. Old habits, old thought patterns, toxic people who still lingered, some social media (sorry I don’t go on Facebook as often so if I missed a birthday, we probably aren’t that close or I would know your born day, it’s the truth and I’m ok with it. Doesn’t make me a bad person, just an honest one). I want to accomplish MY goals while I’m there for everyone else I care about. Balance is key, and I realized I didn’t value my own time as much as I should. Part of the reason I started h0lyshift was to discuss real shit and real life; the good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly, the lessons missed, and the lessons learned so here it is for now. I’m happy and I am loving the improved version of me and I hope I inspire you all to take even one step to a better you whatever that may be… even 15 minutes to take a bath or a walk or a deep breath. Yes, literally breathing – sometimes I forget to breath and it’s a game changer!
I’m not saying Tony Robbins is the answer, trust me, I am just saying that it was another tool I used that made me realize it’s the little adjustments you make to your life that make the most profound changes.
Shootout to my bff for sharing this experience with me as well!
Questions are welcomed
Xoxo Vanessa (acclaimed FIREWALKER)
h0lyshift 