Energy muse or energy suck? Damn Crystals

1998- I was working at the TOP agency in the world with the most beautiful, worldly people and made some of my forever friends! I distinctly remember going on a trip to LA with two of my favorite girlfriends for a week. We did it up! Rented the convertible, went to the hottest places, hung out with some famous peeps AND stumbled upon a spiritual store on Melrose that sold tons of books by some of today’s most famed spiritual guides and leaders (Paulo Cohelo, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, etc). Anyway, I wasn’t ready for the books BUT the crystals…. YESSSSSSSS!! I was drawn to these bedazzling gems right away!

When the young lady (fully pierced and fully tattooed, an ankh necklace draped over her tie dyed Bob Marley t-shirt and peppered with  the fresh scent of marijuana mixed with patchouli) approached me, I was so intrigued I started a conversation. After talking to “Sunrise” (yes that was her name), I drank the kool-aide and purchased about seven or so different small crystals. I kept them in a small netted drawstring pouch, the kind that comes with a small piece of jewelry.  Sunrise gave me simple directions. “Sleep with the pouch under your pillow and they will bring you all you need and want.” My friend was suckered into this as well -my fault- I’m very persuasive when I want to be. We continued on our trip and of course for a LONG time I kept this bag of crystals with me day and night under my pillow. Mind you, by the time I went to sleep that evening, I had already forgotten all of their meanings but was still confident in the good fortune they would bring.

Through the years, my life was pretty great! I was traveling, dating, spending time with friends and family, and having fun. However, I was always thinking “what’s next?”. At different stages in my life I lost a few crystals and kept replacing them (well adding as I again had no idea what the hell was missing- I didn’t remember their meanings). My small collection of crystals grew over time and eventually I had a small pot of colorful rocks. Different things would happen ALL THE TIME like candles flickering if I stared at a flame and asked it a question (I have no idea why I did this so naturally but I silently talked to candle flames – don’t judge me). I dreamt of people I didn’t know but would then meet and of situations that hadn’t happened YET, yet being the operative word. People who I had never met would meet me in my dreams and later play a role in my life (WEIRD AF I KNOW!). 

It wasn’t until many years later that I revisited the “what’s my purpose?” question which is the “IT” question of today (I still don’t have the fucking answer by the way).  I kind of gave up on the crystal thing for a bit because I was super anxious all the time, worrying so much about the future and living in the past.  Even though I was having fun, I wasn’t present(for anyone that doesn’t know- this is the definition of ANXIETY! and it SUCKS!!!).

Years later (now in my 30’s) talking to like-minded friends, I was told that when you get a crystal you’re supposed to “clear, activate and program” it. Thank you Sunrise for ruining my life and not sharing the “stop, drop and roll” of colored stones lesson- SALESPERSON FAIL!   There had been no sage or selenite in my bag of tricks which are the ‘grand pubas’ of energy cleansing (pro tip-one). Not even a recommendation of salt water to eradicate everyone else’s bad juju. Wasn’t even aware I should recharge them during a full moon…definitely didn’t do that either!

So now that I had some sort of guidance, I decided to try this crystal thing again….and again…and again and my collection evolved from crystals to psychics and tarot card readers, etc. Lions and tigers and bears, OH MY! The journey continues….

I’m no expert, but here are a few things I’ve learned:

You got a crystal, now what?

• 1. When picking a crystal, choose one you are drawn to either by meaning, if your memory serves YOU well, or one by color/shape

• 2. Cleanse it and get any stale energy off. Who knows where someone’s hands have been 🤢You can light some sage and blow the smoke over it (keep windows open so you don’t smoke yourself up) or leave it in a mason jar soaked in salt water over night

• 3. Become friends with your crystal. Seriously, name it, talk to it, carry it around etc.

• 4. When you’re ready, set an intention. Decide what matters to you, Explore areas of your life that need an upgrade or maybe your values, you should have some  :)). Be specific about what you want to achieve and why.

• 5. Make sure you speak your intention in present tense. Put feeling into it! For example “Daddy, I want an oompa loompa” no not really, more like  “I am confident” or “I am fearless”.

• 6. Give it some time and try not to obsess…just let the intention be.

• 7. If you feel the power is fading over time, charge that thing by placing it in a windowsill or outside during a full moon not a new moon because apparently there is a lot of old energy leaving during a new moon and things can get twisted (trust me I have made this mistake too many times to count).