Does This Gift Come With A Receipt? Because I Would Like To Return It.

Was God drunk when he sent me down here with this gift? Was he multi-tasking? I needed to know how, exactly, the decision was made to provide ME, of all people, with this amazing gift -one which came with a tremendous amount of responsibility and a huge commitment (I am not good with either – just ask the people at L.A. Fitness or Beach Body or Orange Theory or Weight Watchers or Costco…etc.) This had to be a mistake, right? I like to imagine God’s reaction to be like the reaction you have when you send an email before you spellcheck/proofread it. The first few seconds you are in complete fight-or-flight mode, checking the sent folder, trying to use your powers to stop it from sending – then searching the menu bar for the recall button (P.S.- has the recall button ever worked for any of you? It has never worked for me – why do they even have a recall button? Just to get our hopes up, to crush our dreams, to give us the slightest bit of faith that we might be able to save our jobs? I think it’s probably just to lower the percentage of workplace violence) … Anyway, after I tested positive for this gift I was consumed with fear, a little excitement and an extreme amount of self-doubt. I needed to figure this out, I needed answers and I needed them immediately…. 

 I bought a gazillion books, spent hours on the internet and took a number of classes online. But I didn’t attend my first in-person training class until a year or so after the first reading I did for my husband.

 Of course, I was late to the class and I walked in right as the teacher (who was a pretty famous Psychic Medium) was discussing the proper diet of a “higher spiritual being”. She was saying “to be a pure and open channel for communication, one must eat extremely healthy – raw and organic” as I took my seat I noticed, right there, resting ever so gently on top of my right boob, was the evidence of why I was late – a little piece of the last remaining McDonald’s French fry I was shoveling in my mouth before I came in (“OMG Cassandra, what did you do? Well, if you must know readers…. I ate it – that’s what I did”) I was not off to a good start that’s for sure. I left that class with a notebook full of notes and more questions and fears then I walked in with. As I was leaving, the teacher tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I had a few minutes to chat with her (oh man, she saw the French fry, didn’t she?) I shook my head yes and she asked “why are you in the beginner’s training class?” In my head I thought “ahhhh shit my Dad was right, I really am on drugs” … (P.S – I forgot to mention, when I “came out” to my parents, the very first thing my father said to me was “so what drugs are you on?”) Anyway, I guess she could sense my confusion around her question and hear the conversation I was having with myself because she then said “Do you know how powerful you are, do you know how strong your gift is? You are not a beginner – I want you to embrace this, you cannot fight it – when you have this gift it’s a matter of when you will fully commit to being a Medium, NOT if you will fully commit, and whether you want to accept it and believe it now or not, YOU are a MEDIUM.” She gave me some additional advice, she told me all about the large “spirit committee” that was up there guiding me, ready to help and work with me as I continue on this journey. She said she was in shock at how many spirit guides I have and told me to meditate and meet them. She also told me that I was ready to start doing readings – she said “start with friends of friends or people you might know but not be familiar with the details of their lives. Start doing them over the phone at first, if that makes you more comfortable – you are ready – I promise, you are ready” 

            UMMMM, I wasn’t ready – or was I?  

 I spent the next couple of days stressing (and stress eating) about everything. Was I going to change? Would I need to trade in my Louboutin’s for moccasins? Would I need to sell all my Louis Vuitton bags to pay for the spiritual hut I was going to need to build in our backyard? Would I go from being the FUNNY MAMA to the DALAI MAMA?? And how was I going to start doing readings if I was still too afraid to tell people? 

 I needed to take the first step, I needed to start telling people. You would think that opening up to your best friends would be the easy part, right? It wasn’t, not for me at least. I mean, these are the people that KNEW me, like really-really knew me, for my entire life. No way would they believe this – would they think I was crazy? Would they stop talking to me? Either way, I need to tell them. So, I did, I called each one of them, gave them the same speech, told them all the same story on how it happened and what I was doing now. To my surprise, not one of them thought I was crazy, to be honest, none of them were even surprised! They all kind of had the same reaction “yeah, that actually makes sense.” One of them said “why do you think I stopped sleeping at your house when we were 10? I woke up in the middle of the night and you were sitting at the end of your bed talking – I asked you who you were talking to and you said “oh, just my poppy”- I called my mom immediately and never slept over again” …. And she was right, she never did!! 

 I started doing phone readings here and there, and I was getting pretty good. I was still trying to figure out my signs and symbols and how to strengthen my communication with spirit. I was learning the do’s and don’ts and getting more comfortable with each new reading I did, but I was still filled with self-doubt and needed constant validation. Below are 2 stories of validation I received during my first few readings – they also include something to consider the next time you go to see a medium: 

1. A few years ago, my best friend called and asked me if I wanted to go to a group reading at her sister-in-law’s house (her sister-in-law was a friend of ours, as well but hadn’t yet heard about my new found “gift”). There was about 10 or so people at this group reading, most of which, I had never met before. The medium walked in, smudged all of us and the group reading began. I watched as the medium began to receive messages and was trying to figure out which one of us the messages belonged to – I also watched as the group tried to make those messages fit within their lives and the loved ones that they were trying so desperately to communicate with – this made me extremely uncomfortable (and is one of the reasons why I do not do group readings). After about 90 minutes or so, the reading was over and the medium left. It felt like all of the air was sucked out of the room. Most of the people there felt unfulfilled and upset that either, no one came through for them or that the messages they did receive, made no sense (look, even mediums have off days sometimes, I know this, so I cut her some slack). One girl in the group was particularly upset and when I asked my friend why she said “she came here tonight really hoping to speak with someone in particular, she has a lot of questions and was really hoping tonight would help her.” I looked at her and said “oh I know who it is, he is here and has messages for her – I can totally help her out” (I had forgot that this friend had absolutely no idea that I was medium… the expression on her face was priceless). Anyway – right there in the middle of the kitchen, I did a reading for this girl (I will not say her name or go into too much detail, but she is more than welcome to share her story in the comments section below if she would like).  I told her a lot of different things, provided validation and answered many of the questions she had (at least I think I did) but there was something I said that she could not figure out, she was trying to make it fit, and it was an image that continued to show up throughout the reading….I kept seeing a UPS parking lot. I don’t know why, it wasn’t one of my symbols and I kept asking her “but why am I seeing this UPS parking lot?” I knew that since the image kept popping up, it had to have some major significance- so I told her to remember what I said as I knew it meant something good in her life. A year or so had passed and most of things I told her would happen, did in fact, happen. And then one day, as she was in her new house unpacking, she looked out her front window and realized…. across the street from her new house was a UPS parking lot!!! So next time you go to a Psychic Medium and they tell you something that doesn’t make sense at that moment, don’t dismiss it, because it might make sense in the future! 
2. I am extremely close to my Sister-in-law. When we first met, we had an instant connection. Not only is she family, but I consider her to also be one of my best friends. So, as you can imagine, when she was grieving the loss of her father- I did everything I possibly could to try and communicate with him. She begged me all the time to try and “find” him and would ask me constantly if he “showed up” yet… and one night, he finally did. I had only met her father once or twice when he was alive but when his spirit came to me for the first time, I somehow instantly knew it was him. It was late at night and I didn’t want to call her so I started to text her the things he was telling me and I asked her if they made sense to her. Instead of texting me back she called me and screamed “OMG- yes that’s him – I have you on speaker phone and my sisters are on the house phone so they can hear you also, please keep going” so I did – and once again, most of what I heard, saw and felt was all making sense… except for one thing. I kept hearing the song “Gloria, Gloria” so I asked her if that song had any significance to them… she said no. Then I heard, in a very muffled man’s voice, just the name “Gloria” so I asked her if they knew anyone named Gloria, once again she said no, I kept hearing it and I kept asking her- now I could tell she was getting annoyed. Finally she said “no Cass, no Gloria, tell my dad to move on with the next message already” So I did, and he gave me a few more messages that made sense to her but then, once again, I heard the name “Gloria” and once again, I heard it in a man’s voice but this time, in the background, it sounded very windy instead of sounding  muffled. I could not believe this… I knew she said they had no idea what it meant but her father kept bringing it up, so it had to mean something. I was afraid to mention it again but I knew I had to. After a few seconds of silence I said “look, don’t kill me but he is bringing the name up again, but now, instead of a muffled voice- I hear him screaming the name Gloria and it sounds very windy in the background” once again she said “nope- means nothing” as she said that I could hear her sister yelling something at her….after a few seconds I heard my sister-in-law gasp and then say “ OMG Cass, you are right… my sisters and I have a favorite video of our dad that we just watched the other day…he made a funny home movie of himself pretending to be a reporter…in the video, he is standing outside during HURRICANE GLORIA – literally, in the middle of the hurricane, that’s why you hear him screaming Gloria and that’s why you hear the wind in the background” I was speechless… (I also couldn’t believe it took her that fucking long to connect the dots) So, just like in the first story above- if you are in a reading and a message continues to come through, don’t dismiss it. A message that repeats itself means something… you might not be able to connect the dots right away, but you will eventually! 

I hope you guys enjoyed this post! Next week we will be doing a “Ask the Medium” Q & A post – so start thinking of some questions you have about mediums and readings and make sure to follow our Blog, Instagram and Facebook accounts. 

Until next time….

Xxo, 

Cassandra